Personal boundaries are a form of self-respect for yourself and even others. This is something that really isn’t taught to us in life, we have to learn this in any relationship we develop. I had to learn this the hard way with my interpersonal and soft skills. For years I lacked this skill and it really affected me in many ways.
If it is most likely affecting your career, it usually bleeds into every other area of your life.
- I was walked all over by people taking advantage of me
- I wasn’t sure how to read into the situation before it was happening
- I received false promises over and over again
- This put me in a scarce mindset
Nowadays that is different:
- I am able to read these situations before they happen
- I am more calm, and less reactive how I handle the chaos and interactions
- I am more picky about who I surround myself with and what type of energy I want around me
- I don’t accept disrespect and will not tolerate it
- For work, I only will take on projects that resonate with me and is a good fit
WE ARE BECOMING A SOCIETY TO LOOK FOR OTHERS TO MAKE CRITICAL DECISIONS FOR US
I had to learn this the hard way, and we work in an industry where we love what we do, but it can backfire at us if we do not develop healthy boundaries. While we should always aim at doing the best work, providing the most value to the client/employer, it is important not to get taken advantage of.
Let’s say you are taking on a new project, it is paramount to set the terms upfront so there is little conflict later down the line between you and the client. No one will make these decisions for you, it is totally up to you to have the standards. Knowing this can save you years of frustration in your career.
The terms you set before taking on a new project:
- Always negotiate payment before you start the project
- Understand what the project is before jumping in. What type of project is it? how long is the project? and any other details to see if you are a good fit for it
- Transparency, honesty and respect between all parties
- Contracts that show your payment/rate before you start the job
- Realistic timeline of expectations for the work to be complete
- Clear communication between all parties (you, the client, and any other colleagues involved)
Hypothetically let’s just say a client or person has crossed your boundaries, how would I go about handling that?
In my experience, the worst thing you can do is become very reactive and lash out. I have made this mistake, and it isn’t the correct thing to do ever. You can take a deep breath respond calmly, and maybe start with a statement of ease I.E.
“I totally see things your way and understand where you’re coming from, however that is not what we agreed on”.
“I understand what you’re saying, and I would love to help however that is not part of the terms I signed up for prior to starting the job. Here is what I can do for you..
“Here is another way we can handle this now (fill in the blank of the solution to their problem)”.
After you start with these, you can think of your response. I like to call them statement of ease because when you start your objection with the SAE, it will calm down the mind of the other person in a non-confrontational way.
Thanks so much for reading this blog post,